I’ve been sick for the past few days, I mean really sick. Starting Saturday night at work I had a strange cough but I really thought nothing of it in hopes that it would just go away. Of course, since my days off are Sunday and Monday, the cough escalated into some horribly terrible virus thingy. I was in bed all day Sunday & all day Monday. Ick! For the past few nights all I can remember dreaming about in my fever induced hallucinations is WWE wrestling and World of Warcraft, and it wasn’t the two separately, it was more of a combination thing…don’t ask. All I know is that due to the insane hallucinations my head was pounding every night and all I could do was toss and turn.

Sunday I just slept off and on and work up long enough to flip through channels and watch the “Puppy Bowl” which according to the TVguide description was “an alternative to the Super Bowl featuring a kitten half time show” and I’d have to say that was interesting. It consisted of just a bunch of cute puppies playing on a mini football field with toys and whatnot. I certainly enjoyed it more then I would the Super Bowl. Oh, and I also woke up long enough to catch “The L Word” which was pretty good as well.

Monday night was even worse. I slept most of the day off and on as well. When night time finally rolled around I was breaking out in cold sweats and one minute I’m shivering and the next I’m passed out on the floor of my bedroom in front of the fan because I am so freaking hot. So yes, I would say I was quite feverish. Ick!

Today, er- yesterday, Tuesday was awful! I woke up with less than a whisper for a voice and I had to call into work because, well, you can’t work in a call center without a voice. When I called in to Kristie she could barely hear me! Then I called my Daddy because I felt so terrible I finally decided to break down and see Doc Gerber. Thank God he’s a friend of the family! They got me in less than an hour after my dad called! I went in and I was feeling pretty lousy but when I finally got into his actual office I got really dizzy and everything went blurry. Next thing I know I’m throwing up in the sink! It was so scary for me because I honestly felt like I was going to pass out. It was the weirdest thing, I’ve never felt so sick in my life. Arg, and to top things off about my lovely day, my stupid monthly ‘friend’ came and I have the worse cramps on top of whatever it is that is eating away at me.

Anyway, so Doc gave me an Ozone IV drip, which was an IV (dur!) in my arm that oxygenated my blood so that my blood cells would fight whatever ‘virus’ (I say ‘virus’ because we weren’t really sure what the hell it is) in my body. Then, I had a Vitamin IV drip that had a combination of different vitamins including E, B, and lots of C. After they pulled the stupid needles out of my arms I had to get a stupid 411 shot in my butt! Since my tonsils are the size of golf balls, Doc also prescribed me an antibiotic that I’ll be taking for the next week.

The reason I decided to blog is because finally, after 3 days of hallucinations and fevers, I can finally think clearly! YAY! On the downside, since I can think clearly once again, I am constantly thinking of all the things I have to do. I still have no voice, and I still feel achy and crappy, but my fever is gone. The antibiotics I’m on appear to be helping but they are also giving me every known side effect listed on the damn box. I know the IV’s help, they always do, and the shot as well. I know I won’t be going back to work tomorrow, I can’t afford to go and then realize half way through the day I can’t make it and leave only to get a second occurance on my record.

On other notes…

I gave up soda once again! This time I think it’s for good! I’ve been doing really well. It’s only been a week or so but I really have no desire to drink soda. I’m used to drinking it daily so a week is pretty good for me. I plan to buy a big case of V8 when I get paid since I should be eating more veggies but I don’t have the time to make them and I don’t really have much desire either. I love the taste of V8 and once serving of V8 gives me 3 servings of veggies and I’m sure V8 is better than no veggies. Plus, I am going to be drinking green tea more. I never used to be a tea person but it’s growing on me. Green tea is supposed to boost your metabolism so that’ll help me out.

Okay, I’m starting to feel the ach of sitting up right for more than 5 minutes again. Damn this evil sickness!! I am so sick of being sick!

Hugs & Kisses,

Amber

Well all my blogs are on my site now, www.unexpectedangels.net but I always post a thing on myspace when I update so I guess I'll start doing that here as well. So...

New Blog @ http://www.unexpectedangels.net/

Well, I got a new job. I love it. I'm an Administratie Assistant. I do quite a bit of the bitch work but it's all good. I get a pretty desk, internet and email access, and I work with nice people. It's pretty okay.

Bobby and I doing much better. We had some big fights but we are so much better it's not even funny. For some strange reason, I miss him even more now when he's not around then I did before. Each day I just think about him coming home and being able to kiss him and hold him. Cheesy I know, but it's true. The fact that we are on opposite schedules, me working morning and him working evenings, it sucks. I miss him so much. But you know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. So true, so true...

Okay, well back to work . I'm outty.

I'm okay now. I was venting as you may be able to tell. There was a stupid incident that happened between Bobby and I but we're okay, we really are. It shouldn't have been just a big deal. It's all good.

Anyway, continuing on, I have a new job. I star Monday. I'll be working in an office for Pirk Management which is a waste management company. They pretty much handle all the paper work and whatnot for companies that have to dispose of toxic chemicals, like gas stations and paint places. Basically what I'll be doing is document entry and anything else the engenierr wants me to do. I'm the assistant to the chief engenierr. I'm excited, it's the highest paying job I've ever had plus I get paid holidays! Woot! Gettin paid to sleep in! YAY!

Tonight, I'm going to a concert with Amanda. Blackhawk, Little Texas, and some other random country band I don't remember. I looooove country moosic lol. I just need to find a cowboy hat to wear!

Oh, and for those of you who I play WoW with, I won't be playing for a bit cuz my account expired and I don't have monies to renew it till I get paid so it'll be at least two weeks before you see me on as Delli again, I might just chill on Syl's account a bit! :-D

I've been crying off and on all day long. I know we talked it out but I'm still not okay. I don't know why it bothered me so much and I don't know why I can't just get over it. It IS a big deal to me. I feel like it's all my fault. I feel like there is something wrong with me. How am I supposed to believe that it's not about me?! It is about me weather you admit it or not. It was made about me. There are STILL things that bother me.

My heart hurts. I know it's stupid. God, I know! I feel like a fucking idiot. I feel betrayed, I know it wasn't betrayal but it feels like it. I know I've done wrong, and I know I've caused pain. That's why I should just move on and get over it and let us be happy. I love you more then life itself. I just want us to both be happy.

Okay so I have decided that I am going to do a 10 day detox. Why? Well, number one, my friend Bernard did it (although he did a 30 but I'm gonna start with just 10) He lost 30lbs. Now I know that I won't lose that much weight and what weight I do lose will come back very quickly but I figure that this will be a good start for me to begin to eat healthier and work out and whatnot. Bobby's first reaction was, "You're not gonna eat for ten days?!?!" As was mine. I know it's going to be hell but I think I can do it. Many people think that its terribly bad for you but there is plenty of research to show that if you do it right, a detox can be quite healthy for your body. Click Here if you want more infomation about what I'm planning. I will hopefully begin tomorrow and keep everyone informed. Wish me luck!

I look away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through

Make it through the fall
Make it through it all

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you

I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in love with you

You're the only one
I'd be with till the end
When i come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms


And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in love with you

Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna knwo what this means
Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversationg
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it

Cuz I'm in Love With you
I'm in love with you
Cuz i'm in love with you
And I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you

Mushtastic I know. It reminds me so much of Bobby and I, it's great. I think it explains how a lot of relationships are when it comes to fighting and stuff. Sometimes when I'm sad I just wanna be held while I cry. I wish he didn't always assume it's his fault when I'm depressed. I'm in love with him, I want to be with him forever, I'm not going to leave him for any reason. He's stuck with me :-D

Yes, I had a quite wonderful Valentine's Day. Certainly the best one I've ever been involved in. Firstly, I woke up nice and late which of course is always nice, I woke up at about 11:30. Then, I took Bobby to work and while I was dropping him off I dropped off some balloons and candy for my Mommy (she happens to work at West with Bobby). Of course she loved them.

Little did Bobby know that I had drafted my Mom to help me surprise him by having balloons and a giant Valentine's card with an extremely mushy gushy love letter sitting on his desk when he arrived at work.

The rest of my day was spent by coming back to the apartment, watching Weird Science (Anthony Michael Hall is a hottie), and then taking a wonderfully long shower. After that I was off to yet another job interview (which I thought went well but apparently didn't). When I got home I made some chocolate covered strawberrys and I cleaned house a bit. Then I made Bobby his favorite meal, Spagetti. Yum. I made a romantic CD full of love songs and covered the living room and dining room with candles. I have to say that the entire front of our hose looked quite wonderful.

So when 9pm rolled around I went to pick Bobby up from work. He surprised me by having flowers for me, I didn't expect anything cause I knew he was broke but he came through. Then, when we got home, he gave me a box of candy, a super cute stuffed puppy, and a card with a love letter and poem inside that he wrote which made me cry tears of extreme happieness.

We ate dinner while we listened to the CD I made. Then we went in the living room and we danced to "I'll Make Love to You" by Boyz II Men. Awww. It was great! After that we cuddled on the couch and watched the movie "Simply Irresistible" which I think was a pretty good choice. After the movie we were off to bed, and of course we had to end our Valentine's Day with some good lovin'. ;-)

This was the BEST Valentine's Day EVER!

Okay so go to the following links, and READ THE DIRECTIONS. Thanks muchly!

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Em0tionalprayer

and

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Em0tionalprayer

I'm still looking for a new job. I decided that I would keep working at Natural Organics until I find a new job. Hopefully I will find something like a receptionist position. I need something that won't be too hard but will require me to actually use my brain. Currently, the mail room has me going insane. It's a very easy job but it takes absolutely no brain power. I feel that by the end of the day I have actually lost brain cells.

School is something I an thinking a lot about. I'm only taking one online class this semester which makes me feel like I'm not going anywhere. I find it so hard to actually sit down and do my homework. I need more motivation. I know what you're thinking, "The fact that you can get a great job by going to school should be motivation enough!" I know I know. I just hate school. If I had it my way I would give all the money I have for school to Bobby so he could go. I know he wants to. It would be better used by someone who would actually be happy to do it. I'm only there because my grandpa and my parents would disown me. Not to mention Bobby would be disappointed.

To be honest, I don't think I can do it. I don't think I can actually finish school. I'm not smart enough for this stuff. I'm a hands on person, I've never done great in school. I've always skated by. No one believes me when I say that because I got good grades, honestly I have no idea how I did that. It was a fluke, I swear! I never once remember studying or doing homework. I lucked out and had the easy teachers and classes. :-/

*sigh* It's my first Valentines Day. My first REAL one. I've never had someone who actually cared about me on this holiday. I have a few ideas on what I'm going to do for Bobby but I don't know everything yet. Suggestions would be appreciated.

Bah. I'm gonna go procrastinate some more.

Well, here I am on LJ. Why? Because myspace is too much so I shall start anew.

Speaking of new starts, I started a new job yesterday. I'm a mail clerk for a company called Natural Organics. It's fun so far. I only work with one other woman. She's cool lady. She's in her late thirties and has a kid, she used to be a stripper and an escort, aka, a hooker. She's fascinating to me. lol

Another plus of working at Natural Organics is that I get free or discounted vitamins and other healthy crap. Healthy is good. Yes. very good.

Bobby and I are good. We've been having a rough time lately but it's getting better, slowly but surely. I love him so much and I know that I am willing to do anything to make sure our relationship lasts.

This job makes me incredibly tired because I'm on my feet all day long so I think I'm gonna go for now. Goodnight!

I've had LJ for over a year. This is my first post. Don't ask me why.