Well, I got a new job. I love it. I'm an Administratie Assistant. I do quite a bit of the bitch work but it's all good. I get a pretty desk, internet and email access, and I work with nice people. It's pretty okay.

Bobby and I doing much better. We had some big fights but we are so much better it's not even funny. For some strange reason, I miss him even more now when he's not around then I did before. Each day I just think about him coming home and being able to kiss him and hold him. Cheesy I know, but it's true. The fact that we are on opposite schedules, me working morning and him working evenings, it sucks. I miss him so much. But you know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. So true, so true...

Okay, well back to work . I'm outty.

I've been crying off and on all day long. I know we talked it out but I'm still not okay. I don't know why it bothered me so much and I don't know why I can't just get over it. It IS a big deal to me. I feel like it's all my fault. I feel like there is something wrong with me. How am I supposed to believe that it's not about me?! It is about me weather you admit it or not. It was made about me. There are STILL things that bother me.

My heart hurts. I know it's stupid. God, I know! I feel like a fucking idiot. I feel betrayed, I know it wasn't betrayal but it feels like it. I know I've done wrong, and I know I've caused pain. That's why I should just move on and get over it and let us be happy. I love you more then life itself. I just want us to both be happy.

I look away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through

Make it through the fall
Make it through it all

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you

I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in love with you

You're the only one
I'd be with till the end
When i come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms


And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in love with you

Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna knwo what this means
Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversationg
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it

Cuz I'm in Love With you
I'm in love with you
Cuz i'm in love with you
And I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you

Mushtastic I know. It reminds me so much of Bobby and I, it's great. I think it explains how a lot of relationships are when it comes to fighting and stuff. Sometimes when I'm sad I just wanna be held while I cry. I wish he didn't always assume it's his fault when I'm depressed. I'm in love with him, I want to be with him forever, I'm not going to leave him for any reason. He's stuck with me :-D

Yes, I had a quite wonderful Valentine's Day. Certainly the best one I've ever been involved in. Firstly, I woke up nice and late which of course is always nice, I woke up at about 11:30. Then, I took Bobby to work and while I was dropping him off I dropped off some balloons and candy for my Mommy (she happens to work at West with Bobby). Of course she loved them.

Little did Bobby know that I had drafted my Mom to help me surprise him by having balloons and a giant Valentine's card with an extremely mushy gushy love letter sitting on his desk when he arrived at work.

The rest of my day was spent by coming back to the apartment, watching Weird Science (Anthony Michael Hall is a hottie), and then taking a wonderfully long shower. After that I was off to yet another job interview (which I thought went well but apparently didn't). When I got home I made some chocolate covered strawberrys and I cleaned house a bit. Then I made Bobby his favorite meal, Spagetti. Yum. I made a romantic CD full of love songs and covered the living room and dining room with candles. I have to say that the entire front of our hose looked quite wonderful.

So when 9pm rolled around I went to pick Bobby up from work. He surprised me by having flowers for me, I didn't expect anything cause I knew he was broke but he came through. Then, when we got home, he gave me a box of candy, a super cute stuffed puppy, and a card with a love letter and poem inside that he wrote which made me cry tears of extreme happieness.

We ate dinner while we listened to the CD I made. Then we went in the living room and we danced to "I'll Make Love to You" by Boyz II Men. Awww. It was great! After that we cuddled on the couch and watched the movie "Simply Irresistible" which I think was a pretty good choice. After the movie we were off to bed, and of course we had to end our Valentine's Day with some good lovin'. ;-)

This was the BEST Valentine's Day EVER!